I didn’t set any new years resolutions for 2025 - this was exactly what I needed at that time. For most of my life, I was the most Type A person I knew. Everything came down to to-do lists, goal setting, and raw work ethic. But I also found myself with anxiety, shame, and a lack of direction. I had no idea what I actually wanted when all I’d done my whole life was tell myself what I wanted, or more precisely, what I should want. This has been the year of exploration and freedom for me. The scariest thing I did was to let myself not know. I had no idea what I would spend my time doing or what I would enjoy, but I wanted to free myself from obligation and finally let myself listen to myself again. My motto for this year was essentially fuck around and find out.
Now standing at the cusp of 2026, I feel as though I’ve developed a deeper sense of trust in myself. I still feel a bit lost, still a bit like I need to be doing more - maybe these feelings never go away - but I also feel more at peace in myself and my future. I’ve also learned so much about myself. When I attempted to let myself have the space to flourish, it felt like I was able to coax out the beautiful parts of me that had been hiding away.
I’m thinking back through 2025 and I’m just now realizing … holy shit, so much has happened. I started things, didn’t finish more things, dropped things, learned things, explored, grew, loved, experienced… I look at the loose intentions I had for myself in 2025, and they were just to learn, produce, and love. I think I did it :)
- Started making short form videos seriously on TikTok and YouTube
- Attended Playspace in SF and met some of the most inspiring and fascinating people I know now
- Started my website (this one!)
- Wrote weekly retros to summarize and reflect on my week
- Hosted 10 iterations of Cheddar, me and my partner’s dinner parties
- Visited Chicago to see a dear old friend who I haven’t seen since high school
- Hosted silly ice cream events
- Rolled ice cream - we got rolled ice cream machines, made menus and custom cups, and had friends come over to roll their own ice creams
- Garden Creamery at home - we recreated some fun flavors from Garden Creamery, an iconic SF creamery, and made some of our own
- Moved to SF
- Taught a dance class
- Cake Picnic Prep
- Researched, recipe developed, and baked 4 cakes every weekend leading up to Cake Picnic
- Hosted a cake tasting/cafe popup in my apartment each weekend to have my friends taste and rate each cake
- Created TikTok videos and wrote recipe blog posts for each cake (fig honey walnut cake, lemon meringue cake, last 2 WIP)
- Started taking more dance classes again
- Had the most healing trip to Copenhagen and Ireland
- Reconnected with old friendships after a long time of healing, met new friends who made me laugh and feel at home instantly, sat with the vastness and beauty of the Irish landscape, and, importantly, ate cardamom buns every day in Copenhagen
- Became interested in philosophy and history
- Read and reviewed sophie’s world
- Started my notes archive on the History of Western Philosophy
- Currently reading At the Existentialist Café
- Started Cookie Anatomy - an exploration into how the composition of a cookie affects its end result
From 2025, I’ve learned a lot about the directions that energize me. For this year, I wanted to try setting new year’s resolutions again, but now from a different motivation.
What I’ve found is that the space people grow the most in is discomfort. That moment in time when you’ve just jumped off a cliff and you’re falling, flailing about, wondering if you’re going to land on your feet. My intention for my 2026 resolutions is to create the impetus to throw myself off the cliff (metaphorically). I have a better understanding of how goals might change over time, but sometimes you need the initial push to get started.
I’m not going to reveal exactly what the goals are because I’ve found that I can at times get enough dopamine from talking about it that I don’t end up doing it (lol). Loosely speaking, much of it is around lifestyle - creating the version of myself that does things that energizes me. From my learnings from 2025, what I’ve found energizes me are:
- Holistic movement - not just lifting, but covering all areas of physical fitness: strength, mobility, coordination, and cardiovascular health. I talk about it a bit in why you should dance.
- Good sleep - I keep trying to cope myself into thinking I don’t need as much sleep as I do but I repeatedly find myself introducing more chaos and exhaustion into my life when I do
- Honoring my intellectual curiosities - I used to cut my intellectual curiosities short because I would question, well what is this for? It’s for myself. It’s for my interest and growth. But also, I’ve found that becoming a more well-read person gives me the understanding to actually do something in an area I care about rather than vaguely hand-wave at some “impactful” thing I’ve decided I’d do.
- Spending time with people who inspire me - I’m such a people-pleaser sometimes. I feel the desire to make everyone like me. But sometimes, it’s okay to acknowledge that you feel more or less energized by some people and to focus your attention on the friendships that fill you up. These are the friendships that make life more meaningful.
I won’t forget what I learned in 2025 though. As much as there are new years resolutions for this year, I want to continue taking with me the guiding principles to listen to myself and trust that my life will unfold exactly as it is meant to.