i find a lot of my thoughts and curiosities seem to circle back to a critique of myself. this doesn’t feel the most constructive. and perhaps the reason i am insecure about writing is because it often feels like my thoughts are quite self-centered. many journal entries tend to be evaluations of my own life, mild self-flagellations even. i don’t tend to want to share these thoughts not necessarily because i’m embarrassed or afraid of the vulnerability, but moreso that i don’t feel like it’s of interest or use to anyone. or maybe there is some fear of vulnerability in there. because i’m perhaps afraid that people will see that i’m quite self-centered. it’s like that icky feeling i get when people are too outwardly self-deprecating. there’s an undertone of narcissism in there. it’s not to say i can’t talk about myself. i’m quite interested in posts where the author talks about themselves: it’s what makes it more personal and meaningful. perhaps the issue here is that critiques on myself are grounded on the axiom that i am some unchangeable object. or not even an unchangeable object, but rather, a definable one. if i, or anyone, can be reduced down to something that could be critiqued, then there was very little understanding to begin with.